Shadow Wisdom https://shadowwisdom.com Transform Your Critic, Ignite Your Inner Power Thu, 22 Oct 2020 22:00:20 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.4.4 https://i0.wp.com/shadowwisdom.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/cropped-favicon-512.jpg?fit=32%2C32&ssl=1 Shadow Wisdom https://shadowwisdom.com 32 32 177307044 It’s worth (not)doing https://shadowwisdom.com/its-worth-notdoing/ https://shadowwisdom.com/its-worth-notdoing/#respond Thu, 22 Oct 2020 21:59:15 +0000 https://shadowwisdom.com/?p=2728 It seems to be an American value, or at least a western one, that we always must be accomplishing something in order to be worthy. Someone once told me I had a Ph.D. in GSD (getting s%&$ done). I had a belief that if I stopped “doing” I wouldn’t be valued. This belief was confirmed when I met a woman who had three very successful adult children. She spoke about her son who had scored a 1600 on his SATs AND had written a best-selling book on how to improve your SAT scores. She surprised all of us when she complained “Yes, but what has he done lately?!”

 

Imperfectly Worthy

We are all born perfectly imperfect and 100% worthy of love, but somewhere along the way we were taught that unless we are progressing in a tangible way, unless we are doing or accomplishing something, we aren’t worthy. In fact, it seems that when we do take time for ourselves, or simply rest because we need it (and deserve it!), that feeling of unworthiness creeps back in. Our work becomes less enjoyable because there is no time to acknowledge our efforts and achievements. Sometimes we turn to pleasurable but unhealthy behaviors in order to fill the void (food, alcohol). Either way, our lack of ‘doing’ is a deep wound of our inherent wholeness and worth.

What if you could feel worthy, just because you are you?
What if you could know in your bones that you are good enough, just the way you are?

 

Don’t let the critics get you down

The thing to remember, first and foremost, is that while you may not have begun this way, you now are probably your own worst critic. You were not born believing you are not worthy or good enough, this is learned behavior. Somewhere you internalized the message to “compare and despair”. When we compare ourselves to others, we will always find fault. We get so lost in the quagmire of comparison that fear of unworthiness takes us down.

The second thing to remember is – most people are feeling the way you are. We’re so worried others are judging us that we forget they’re in the same boat!

Remember – you took that limiting belief on at some point in your life, and if you took it on you can take it off!

 

Here are some ways to stretch that self-worth muscle:

  • Take stock every day of what you are proud of yourself for. Acts of kindness or generosity, service to others or yourself, taking pleasure in enjoyment, etc.
  • Working with a Shadow Work coach who can help you get clarity on where that low-worth message is coming from and transform it into a new, empowering one. It can be like scratching the surface of that old recording that has its tracks laid down inside of you a long time ago, and then adding new tracks.
  • Dare to Rest Yoga Nidra – it is exhausting to not feel worthy! Yoga Nidra can help you restore a deep restful state where you can remember and awaken to who your authentic, brilliant, and powerful self is.
  • Journaling – examine the negative messages you are giving yourself when you are not feeling worthy and explore their origins as well as their opposites.
  • Learn how to rewrite your story. This is a powerful tool. You created your story, which means you have the power to change it.

You deserve the freedom to be authentically you, and know that you are amazing and worthy whether you are “doing” or not. This world, especially right now, needs you to know you are good enough. Show up fully, bring us your brilliance, visions, dreams and wisdom. You are worthy, you are good enough, you are necessary, and you are lovable just the way you are.
Period!


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Ignite Your Fire https://shadowwisdom.com/ignite-your-fire/ https://shadowwisdom.com/ignite-your-fire/#respond Thu, 15 Oct 2020 04:12:00 +0000 https://shadowwisdom.com/?p=2743 One of the reasons I became a personal coach and shadow work facilitator is because I witnessed my own transformation from this work and know the power it has to move mountains in a person’s life. Since I began my business, I have witnessed many other people who have experienced the same.

Welcome to Shadowland

The concept of shadow work is to recognize when “shadows”, or the voices that hold you back, come up. If you think you’ve never met your shadows before it’s pretty easy– try setting a goal and taking action on it. This is generally when you find them. The inner-doubter will begin a deluge of “what ifs” — ”what if I’m judged, what if I’m not good enough” –until you become overwhelmed with worry, fear, anxiety, etc. These are the shackles that paralyze you from moving forward in your life. Welcome to shadowland!

Power in taking action

There is enormous power in setting a goal and moving towards it. Shadows don’t like change or making waves, they like safety. We don’t see our shadows show up when we aren’t acting because not acting is safe. The problem with safety is stagnation. Taking action towards our goals is an opportunity to see our shadows show up and clarify what they are and why they’re there. In the Shadow Wisdom Coaching Program you get to know them, become familiar with how draining they are to your lifeforce, and clear them out. Once you do that the energy will shift and you will become more aligned with your authentic self.

Sounds good, right?

And this is the biggest reason to uncover what is holding us back — these old, leftover patterns — shackles, really– hold us back from being our true self, our authentically best self, the self we want to be in the world.

When you tap into a bigger vision of yourself, when you put a giant stake in the ground and say “this is what I want!” it’s important to notice what bubbles up. It’s an opportunity to see your obstacles and work through them. Once you do that, more opportunities open up to you because you’re able to transform the energy tied up in your internal blocks and redirect it toward the life you desire.

Life is not about perfection — and thank goodness for that! It’s about being on the right path for you, in order to honor who you are, create abundance and fulfillment, and light your life on fire!

Isn’t it time to dream bigger?

Blessings, Karin


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Dragon as Archetype https://shadowwisdom.com/dragon-as-archetype/ https://shadowwisdom.com/dragon-as-archetype/#comments Mon, 14 Sep 2020 14:32:13 +0000 https://shadowwisdom.com/?p=2669

 

She closed her eyes. She could see the insides of the eyelids of a Dragon. The eyelids opened up to a thin slit, and she tried to peak out. The light was blinding. She closed her eyes again, and she could see the intricate and colorful pattern on the outside of the eye being spotlighted by the sun. She slowly opened her eyes again, and looked down her thin nose and saw a trail of smoke, and felt her inner fire. She glanced over to see the side of her body covered in strong, beautiful beautiful and elaborate scales, and she marveled over how each one of her scales were a piece of art, crafted by centuries of gathering wisdom and courage. She slowly opened up her wings, flexing them in the sunlight, and felt their strength and purpose.

 

Dragon as Myth

 

The dragon exists as a mythical creature around the world. It is perhaps one of the oldest legends we have, inhabiting our subconscious from before we were fully human. If you take the three primary predators primates faced : snakes, large cats, and raptors, and combine them you would get something that looks an awful lot like a dragon.

The dragon developed as a myth in separate places around the world but always carries with it certain qualities. In the Americas and Far East the dragon is part of the creation myth: it is the very stuff that our world is made of. There is also always an elemental aspect: in eastern mythologies it is always water, though in the americas and western cultures it can take on any number of elemental traits. They breathe fire, fly through the air, swim in the sea, and come from or create the earth. Generally eastern dragons are perceived as more benevolent and with reverence than western dragons, which are more likely to be seen as destructive and wrathful.

 

Dragon as Archetype

 

The Dragon as an archetype is the symbol of your unconscious. It is your instinct and your energy. It is the predator that wants to go get it; it was originally food, but now it might be that promotion, or any other goal you have in mind. The dragon doesn’t really care, it is just the energy that acts. If you say “this is what I am going to do” the dragon is there to hold you accountable, to challenge you to look at those things that get in your way. The dragon asks you to look at what it is that stops you from living fully.

In myth, the dragon collects a hoard in its lair. The dragon sits on it; sleeps on it. Does the gems, gold & silver do the dragon any good? No, it’s of no use to the dragon. But it means that your dragon has a stockpile of resources: time, energy, knowledge, that you could have access to if you only knew how. In some myths, the dragon controls access to the young maiden. This symbolizes hoarding your lover or your creativity, hoarding the future, relationships with children, the next generation.

Everyone hoards something: money, books, precious objects, collectibles, relationships, experiences. The trick is to let go of the things you do not need, or to make them useful to you.

 

What could you achieve if your dragon was working with you instead of against you?

 

Where in your life is the Dragon Riding YOU?

Imagine you are pinned down, face to the ground, the dragons got you, you can feel it breathing down your neck and you are stuck.

In what areas of your life is this true, in what situations do you feel like you have no control, it has you.

 

 

 

 

  • In your career – where do you get in your own way? Do you procrastinate? Do you see everything as a challenge?
  • In your health – where do you neglect your body?
  • In your relationships – where do you take on the victim’s place? Where are you enabling or harming others?
  • What are your hoards? – Where are you stagnating? What are you afraid of letting go of?

 

What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.”
~ Carl Jung

 

 

 

Face Your Dragon

 

The challenge is to face the dragon, regardless of your fear. The Hero’s journey isn’t always to slay the dragon, but to overcome the obstacle it represents and receive the treasure beyond that obstacle. If you can meet your dragon with confidence, negotiate and create a partnership with it you will gain access to the dragon’s power and resources. Say your dragon shows up as a need to be in control at work: micromanaging your coworkers and employees may give you control over the project but will engender resentment and difficulty with the people you are working with. Instead letting go of the minutia and trusting other people to see the overall vision, and that trust will earn you respect and leadership when you do step in. You will also have more time and energy now that you’re not trying to do everything at once! To face your dragon is to accept and embody your life force, your power, and your predatory instinct with integrity and without shame. When we embody our life force in this way, we gain the energy, agency, and audacity to live a full, authentic, and unapologetic life

As she closed her eyes again, she felt herself back in her human form, knowing she is also a Dragon. Knowing she could draw on the strength and purpose of the dragon when she chose to, knowing she could choose to see the world through the wise eyes of the Dragon.

 


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Confidence and You https://shadowwisdom.com/confidence-and-you/ https://shadowwisdom.com/confidence-and-you/#respond Thu, 03 Sep 2020 04:03:42 +0000 https://shadowwisdom.com/?p=2655 People aren’t just born with confidence.  Like most behaviors, confidence is learned and practiced.  There are many simple tips you can implement to help develop your confidence.  As with any list of tips, the intent is not to try and do all of them at once; rather, choose the one or two that feel like they would work best for you and your circumstances.  As with most tips, practice will be required, so give them an honest effort and be patient for the results to appear.  Remember also to look for evidence that you are more confident than you think and can accomplish more than you realize. 

We all yearn to have confidence – to feel as if we belong. Here are a few tips to help you feel confident no matter what you’re doing or whom you’re with:

 


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Land of the Free https://shadowwisdom.com/land-of-the-free/ https://shadowwisdom.com/land-of-the-free/#respond Sat, 20 Jun 2020 05:39:59 +0000 http://shadowwisdom.com/?p=2571 The last few weeks have been cataclysmic in our country. The struggles of black people throughout this country’s history and the sharp edge of law enforcement and authority pressing their might against those who are most vulnerable. It’s left me feeling exasperated, frustrated, angry, and action-oriented.

This month it’s been 30 years since I arrived in the US, so I’ve been thinking alot about my own journey to this country that expresses itself as, “land of the free, home of the brave.” Land of the free has different context for different people depending on where they came from, how they arrived here, and if it was by choice or by force. As an immigrant, I thought of the United States as a land full of possibilities. I didn’t flee my country, nor did I leave it for a better life in the US, but a different one, one full of possibilities.

There is also the lack of freedom we have now because of Covid-19. With shelter-in-place orders, masks, social-distancing, etc. our freedom can feel…not so free, but there are ways to free ourselves even when personal or external burdens might be holding us down.

  1. First, Free Your Mind. Do you remember the song from the early 90s by En Vogue “Free your mind, and the rest will follow…” It’s really true! Get into a quiet place and focus on your breath. Just an inhale and exhale. Feel your breath filling your belly. Remembering that you are ok in this moment no matter what else is going on around you is very important. One “OK” moment leads to the next, and the next…
  2. Focus on where you have a choice. While easier said than done, remembering that there is a choice even when it feels like you have none is a powerful exercise. I’m choosing to take time and be still right now…I’m choosing to meditate on what I do have instead of what I don’t…I’m choosing to practice gratitude instead of worrying thoughts…I’m choosing to move my body instead of remaining seated at my desk…We forget that we make thousands of choices every single day. While we don’t usually think of those choices as freedom, they absolutely are.
  3. Instead of looking at the limitations, look at the possibilities. Every day is ripe with possibilities. They may not be the possibilities you want on the surface (i.e. winning the lottery so I don’t have to worry about rent anymore) but when you dig a little deeper you can really find some gems. Is it possible to take myself to a park or the beach for some sun, or a walk in the woods? Is there a friend I haven’t talked to in a while who really makes me laugh that I could call? Are there ingredients in the house for me to prepare a delicious meal for myself? What project or activity have I been looking forward to starting (or completing)? If you answer no to any of the questions you ask yourself, what else is possible?

Possibility gives us hope and freedom. Freedom to do more with our lives, freedom of choice, freedom to be happy and pursue our dreams.

So how do you define Freedom? Once you answer that question, pull out your En Vogue and George Michael. Freedom can also be a dance party 🙂

 

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A Well Rested Woman https://shadowwisdom.com/a-well-rested-woman/ https://shadowwisdom.com/a-well-rested-woman/#respond Fri, 12 Jun 2020 23:37:24 +0000 http://shadowwisdom.com/?p=2546 One of the things I notice most when working with a new client is the mental and physical exhaustion they suffer around life goals and purpose. They have the drive and ambition, but not the energy to manifest. This is because the mental exhaustion of our day to day lives around what we SHOULD be doing as opposed to what we ARE doing can be profound.

 

I used to operate like this, believing I was functioning happily in my life and not realizing how fatigued I was having to be the woman I was expected to be which differed from my authentic nature. Living this way clouded my mind, didn’t allow me the energy to be the parent, partner or professional I wanted to be, and kept me from living a whole-hearted, authentic and wildly free life.

 

Fog and Fatigue

We are usually not aware of how much a toll these shadows and fears can take on our bodies. Particularly for women, we don’t get enough rest as it is, but the mental exhaustion that weighs down on us is rooted in the patriarchal system we all live under. Am I doing enough? Being enough? Giving enough? These questions occupy so much space in our heads that we’re not aware of the constant drain of lifeforce occurring.

 

A well-rested woman is a happy one

At my peak of exhaustion, I was lucky enough to find Karen Brody’s book Daring to Rest: Reclaim Your Power with Yoga Nidra Rest Meditation, and it transformed my life. Karen says “yoga nidra is an opportunity to lie down and wake up” and I couldn’t agree more. The beauty of yoga nidra is that you are pointed back to your true nature. This is what fuels you, your “juice”, where you are unapologetically you, and is THE ideal place to lead your life from.

We’ve all been hearing in recent times how important our sleep is. In fact, overall our culture is shifting toward a more self-care, rest-centered place. Being well-rested supercharges your energy, your mind, your drive, and your creativity. Particularly for women, it’s as if yoga nidra is cleansing the patriarchal shadows right out of your being!

 

Sleep = Success

When practicing yoga Nidra, you can’t hide your true nature from yourself, because each time you lie down, you feel who you are in every cell in your body. Yoga Nidra is an affirming and gentle way to awakwen ourselves to our potential and possibilities, to know ourselves deeply, feel confident and, of course, allows us to get the deep rest we need to shine.
Tapping into your big dreams and feeling into your purpose is what I love to help my clients discover. Yoga Nidra is an instrument to create action in our lives. While understanding our fears AND getting good rest. There’s nothing else like it. It’s a game changer.

 

 

 

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Fear is just the passenger https://shadowwisdom.com/fear-is-just-the-passenger/ https://shadowwisdom.com/fear-is-just-the-passenger/#respond Wed, 27 May 2020 05:04:21 +0000 http://shadowwisdom.com/?p=2480 One of the things I’ve been so grateful for in this time of Covid-19 is how many more relaxation and meditation tools have become available online. From celebrities to meditation experts, churches to online town halls, just about everyone is sharing what modality are working for them.

 

Fear and Creativity

A couple of months ago I ran across a meditation on fear, recorded in response to Covid-19 given by the author Elizabeth Gilbert. The meditation inspired me to pick up her book, Big Magic. In it, she draws the connection between fear and creativity, how the latter can’t exist without the former, but how clear the distinction is between creativity being her co-pilot, while fear is just a passenger along for the ride. Fear doesn’t get to make the decisions, only she and creativity do.

I began to think of fear in my own life and in the life of my friends, family, and clients. How does fear play out in my relationships, my business, my decisions? Where and when did I learn that fear should (and would) stop me from doing the things that I was striving for? How long had fear been my co-pilot? I had already had success in my life and I was looking to accomplish more goals and dreams. Why had I allowed fear to stop me?

The more power we give fear, the more it grows. Healthy fear is necessary–It keeps us safe, but often unknowingly the “what if…” switch gets turned on and fear shines as bright and loud as neon, buzzing and flashing to the point of distraction.

 

What are you nurturing

Our goals and dreams are human creativity and passion at work. Giving our time and energy to elements of ourselves that are productive is how we can transform fear into creative energy.

Having some simple creative task at your fingertips – gardening, a needlepoint or knitting project, an adult coloring book, or a simple sketchbook and a pencil–is a simple and quick way to reroute your fear and anxiety.

The next time your mind begins to ruminate on fear, have a creative task on hand. Even if the fears are humming in the background remember that fear is just the passenger in the back seat, creativity is your co-pilot. Road trip anyone?!?

 

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The positives and perils of screen time https://shadowwisdom.com/the-positives-and-perils-of-screen-time/ https://shadowwisdom.com/the-positives-and-perils-of-screen-time/#respond Sat, 02 May 2020 03:45:06 +0000 http://shadowwisdom.com/?p=2478 I don’t know about you but I’m spending even more time in front of a screen these days than I was before, which was more than I wanted to begin with! Still, it feels important and necessary during this time where we can feel stuck at home, lonely and isolated.

It’s truly amazing that we are able to have these kinds of face to face interactions that we wouldn’t have been able to have 20 years ago. There is something about our screens too, I’ve noticed — not being in an actual room with a person but rather a virtual one –that can feel more inviting to share ourselves in a workshop or intimate setting. That buffer of “alone, together” may allow us to be a bit more vulnerable and revealing of ourselves, and allow us to share our fears, our worries, our secrets– in essence, ourselves.

 

Multitasking

Unfortunately, screen time with others can also allow us to bop on over to check our email, read the news, check social media, and before you know it you’re purchasing items you don’t need. I know many folks who are working from home right now and by the time the weekend comes they refuse to Zoom or FaceTime anyone. They are on Zoom meetings all day and, understandably, they want to remove themselves from technology.

 

Screen time self care

It’s important to remember to exercise self-care when spending time in front of the screen. Here are some suggestions on how to do this:

  • Try to limit your time on the internet and choose what you read carefully so that information overload does not consume you. Constantly checking the news or researching Coronavirus symptoms online can lead to anxiety.
  • If the constant pinging of emails or push notifications is a distraction, try turning off your your notifications, especially if your are trying to focus or need quiet time to work without distraction
  • Get a better night’s sleep by turning your phone settings to “do not disturb” and/or use the “night mode” to reduce the amount of blue light emanating from your screen.
  • Draw boundaries for social media use, and make some time for real life. Be present and enjoy the moment.

If possible, try to spend as much (or less) time in front of a screen as you did in your “normal” life. Awareness around this can remind you to engage in creative pursuits or to simply get outside. Screen time is a useful tool to engage with others through these difficult times but abusing it can lead to the opposite desired effect. Connect with people, not websites. And when all else fails, there’s always that old-fashioned device, the telephone!

 

 

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How to Stay Inspired and Inspire Others https://shadowwisdom.com/how-to-stay-inspired-and-inspire-others/ https://shadowwisdom.com/how-to-stay-inspired-and-inspire-others/#respond Tue, 14 Apr 2020 05:36:37 +0000 http://shadowwisdom.com/?p=2414 Life is hard enough when we don’t have the confidence to see us through uneasy times. It’s difficult for us to not “go negative” when we don’t feel empowered to inspire ourselves, let alone others.

Authentic Confidence
People with authentic confidence have a unique ability to inspire. Confident people are positive, believe in possibilities, and see barriers as minor challenges or obstacles that have to be overcome. This is why confident people attract. They have a “go get ‘em” aura of energy that is infectious. In fact, psychology calls this energy emotional contagion.

The concept is that the emotion of the most powerful person in the room inspires the same emotion in others. And, since confident people are often powerful people, they have the power to inspire others.

 

Confidence Inspires
Our confidence and lack of confidence can inspire or deflate others, so it is important to be aware of how we carry ourselves. Sometimes just giving a stranger a smile can make both of you feel a bit more confident and more joyful!

 

Here are some daily journaling questions to inspire inspiration in yourself and others.

  • What can I appreciate/be grateful for about this day?
  • What are the possibilities of this day?
  • What kind word or gesture can I say or do to inspire someone?
  • If my emotions are contagious, what do I want others around me to catch?

By answering these simple questions, you will be inspired and you will inspire others. Don’t waste another moment. A world of confidence is waiting for you!

 

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The Power of Optimism https://shadowwisdom.com/the-power-of-optimism/ https://shadowwisdom.com/the-power-of-optimism/#respond Tue, 25 Feb 2020 04:29:40 +0000 http://shadowwisdom.com/?p=2356 Being optimistic is more than seeing the world through rose-colored glasses.

Optimism shows itself through attitude, belief, and actions. When we are optimistic everything in life is different.

Optimistic people:

  • Set more goals and put more effort into attaining their goals.
  • Stay more engaged when challenges arise. 
  • Cope better during stressful times.
  • Feel better about themselves and the world around them.

In fact, it turns out that optimism is a predictor of work performance. The higher the optimism, the better your performance in all areas of life.

Here are some tips to become more optimistic:

  1.   Make a list of the good things in your career or life. Scan your day for three good things that happened that day and be grateful for them. Keep a gratitude journal!
  2.   Make (and think) positive comments about the world and people around you – seriously! This might take some time to get the hang of, we are so trained to complain. 
  3.   Journal about positive experiences. This is akin to going to the gym and exercising your optimism muscles.
  4.   Expect favorable outcomes. (If this doesn’t come naturally to you, cultivate these expectations.)  This actually primes your brain to be on the lookout for and recognize possibilities.

And just in case doubt and negativity might be clouding your thinking right now, trust me, this information has been scientifically proven.  And doesn’t that just make you a little more optimistic?

Here is McLandburgh Wilson pondering on optimism in 1915:

“Twixt the optimist and pessimist
The difference is droll
The optimist sees the doughnut
But the pessimist sees the hole.

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